Competence Isn’t Confidence—And That’s a Problem

We’ve all seen it happen. The person in the meeting who speaks the loudest gets the most attention—even if what they’re saying isn’t all that insightful. The person with the most polished delivery is seen as the expert, even if someone else in the room knows more but stays quiet. And often, the one who’s the most qualified, the most thoughtful, the most experienced… says nothing at all.

That’s not a personality flaw. That’s a culture problem.

We’ve created environments where confidence is rewarded more consistently than competence. Where certainty outshines nuance. Where visibility is mistaken for value. And it leaves incredibly capable people sitting on the sidelines, watching others take up space they’re more than qualified to fill.

Competence doesn’t always look like confidence. Competent people tend to listen more than they speak. They question assumptions. They acknowledge complexity. They hesitate—not because they’re unsure of themselves, but because they understand the weight of what they say. They want to get it right.

Meanwhile, confidence—especially when it’s unearned—often presents as certainty, speed, and clarity. It’s easier to digest. It feels more authoritative. And so it’s more readily accepted, even when it lacks depth.

That imbalance creates real problems.

It promotes style over substance. It sidelines thoughtful contributors. It allows mediocre ideas to rise because they’re well-delivered, while stronger insights stay buried because they weren’t wrapped in boldness. And over time, it teaches capable people that maybe they don’t belong in the room.

But they do. In fact, we need them in the room more than ever.

We need the people who ask better questions. Who think critically. Who hold high standards for truth and quality. But they won’t be heard unless we start making space for a different kind of voice—one that might not be loud, but is deeply informed.

If this is you—if you’ve ever held back because you didn’t feel confident enough to speak up—know this: your doubt doesn’t disqualify you. It might even be a sign that you’re thinking more clearly than the people steamrolling the conversation.

Confidence can be developed. But it has to be built on a foundation of self-trust—not bravado. That starts with recognizing your competence and learning to stand in it. Not perform it. Embody it.

And if you’re leading a team, look closer. Ask yourself: Who here has something valuable to say, but isn’t saying it? What can I do to make them feel safe enough to speak?

Because competence isn’t always loud. But it’s essential. And we can’t afford to keep mistaking silence for absence—or confidence for truth.

Let the thoughtful voices rise. And if you’re one of them, this is your reminder: You don’t have to feel loud to be worth listening to.