Stop Trying to Be Easy to Work With

For a long time, I prided myself on being easy to work with. I said yes. I picked up slack. I absorbed tension. I gave people the benefit of the doubt. I avoided hard conversations if I thought they might upset someone.

And then I burned out.

When I took on the role of club manager, I told myself I could be the kind of leader who made everyone’s life easier. I thought if I was likable, accommodating, and always available, everything else would fall into place.

It didn’t.

Instead, I ended up exhausted. I was over-functioning for people who didn’t want to change. I was holding expectations I wasn’t enforcing. I was keeping the peace at the cost of my own clarity. And slowly, I started to lose the sense of leadership that had brought me into the role in the first place.

Here’s what I learned the hard way: being easy to work with doesn’t mean saying yes to everything. It means being clear, consistent, and honest.

It means setting expectations and holding the line. It means having hard conversations early, not after resentment builds. It means understanding that leadership isn’t about pleasing everyone—it’s about guiding the team toward something better, even when it’s uncomfortable.

People don’t need you to be agreeable all the time. They need you to be steady. Direct. Fair. Focused.

Trying to be easy to work with can quickly become code for “never having needs” or “never pushing back.” And that’s not sustainable. It doesn’t serve your team, and it doesn’t serve you.

If you’re burning out because you’re trying to be the buffer, the fixer, the peacekeeper—step back. Ask yourself: Am I being helpful, or am I being invisible?

Strong teams don’t need a leader who bends for everyone. They need a leader who knows where they’re going—and invites others to rise with them.

Stop trying to be easy to work with. Start being someone people can count on.

Even when it’s hard.

Especially then.