Your Standards Are Not the Problem

You’ve probably heard it before—maybe even more than once: “You’re expecting too much.” Or, “You’re too intense.” Or the classic, “You need to lower your standards.”

But what if the problem isn’t your standards? What if the problem is the environments, systems, or people that don’t rise to meet them?

High standards are not a flaw. They’re a signal. They mean you care. That you notice details. That you’re committed to excellence, not because it’s easy—but because it’s who you are. People with high standards often hold themselves to the same level of performance and integrity they expect from others. That’s not arrogance. That’s alignment.

Yes, standards can become unrealistic when they’re rooted in perfectionism or fear. But most of the time, high standards are an asset—not a liability. The challenge is that high standards can make you feel like the outlier. You see things others miss. You push for better when others are okay with “good enough.” You feel tension in environments that normalize mediocrity.

And that tension? That’s not a problem. It’s a compass.

It’s pointing you toward places, people, and work that are more aligned with who you are. But first, you have to stop internalizing the discomfort that happens when your standards aren’t shared. Not every team is striving for excellence. Not every leader prioritizes quality. And not every culture supports the kind of drive and attention you bring to the table.

When your standards feel “too high,” it’s often because they’re standing in stark contrast to what’s being tolerated around you. But lowering them won’t make you happier. It will just make you quieter. And more disconnected from your own values.

Holding high standards takes energy. It can feel lonely. But it’s also what sets you apart. It’s what makes your work reliable, your decisions intentional, and your leadership real.

Protecting your standards doesn’t mean being difficult. It means refusing to water down what matters. It means holding the line on what you know produces great work, strong relationships, and better outcomes.

You’ll find your people—the ones who are energized by your drive, who appreciate the way you show up, and who trust that your high standards are not about control, but about care. Care for the work. Care for the outcome. Care for the team.

So if you’re the kind of person who cares deeply, thinks critically, and refuses to settle—you’re not too much. You’re a leader. And the right people will recognize your standards not as a burden, but as a beacon.

You don’t need to lower your standards to fit the room. You need to find the rooms that rise to meet them.